Love is selfish

     I just finished watching the movie Salt and I will admit that I began to tear up when she stood there and watched her husband drown. I mean I understand that it was done for the greater good of the American people, but I would have saved my husband. As selfish as it is, I would still save him because he is the person I promised to spend the rest of my life with, and because I love him. I can't get into more depth than that...
     I tried looking up the quote I wanted from the movie, but that was a failure. It went something like this, "I remember something Michael told me about spiderwebs. He said that he was the web and that I was the spider that lived on top of it. He said that anytime I needed him, all I had to do was string up a bit of web. He told me to remember how much he loved me everytime I saw a spiderweb..."
     It made me sad when she spoke these words, beause all I could see was her husband drowning and her there, waiting patiently. Though it seemed that today was filled with this kind of sadness, everyone else but me was in such a downer mood. I walked to the post office alone and on my way ran into a familiar looking older dude named Chase who had beautiful eyes and a volumous beard. We had small talk and then I went on my way to the post office. My favorite post office person was taking care of my package and two letters, he asked where Kasey was and I said with her boyfriend. He gave a response something like, "Ah. The old ditched for the boyfriend routine." Made me smile.(:
     I ended up getting blistered feet and then hung out with Chase. (Not the one I just met, the one over yonder in the side bar of people.) We started off yelling at each other, then talking, then both being in his sweater which was really funny.(x And then the little one (Kayla, I believe) hugged my leg! It was the most adorable thing ever. After I went in, I ate, Kasey came over and was upset about her teeth and then left... Now here I am, thinking about the day and hoping that I chose the right thing. You know, my husband's life over the security of the United States. xD Whoever you are husband, I love the shit outta you.<33

Here's your letter

     I sent one today. A beautiful ballad of color and words, and of future history. Though I wish that's not what it becomes. I think that we make people fit into our lives and I know you have your place. Maybe it's just something inside me that refuses to let you go, but I can't. I don't want to just enjoy our time for a split second in comparison to the rest of our lives. I want to enjoy it for a long time...
     Guess what song just started playing? With Me, Sum 41. Mhhhm. It fits with this post. I think that we can only wait for things to happen before I go on about how terrible the ending is going to be. I want you to read it feel the rush of emotions that caused me to write it. I want you to laugh where I laughed and cry where I cried. I want you to muse at the clever possibilites and my attention to detail.<3
     I'll get your reaction by the end of the week, if all goes well. Goodnight darling.

Responses to past posts

Almost tomorrow, yet today is never ending:
You can infact use mechanical pencils on the SAT. I did. I used two of my cadoozles, because they look like pencils, and a white peral eraser. I got my scores back, which proves that mechanical pencil can be used. Just in case you were wondering.(: Just make sure it's a #2!


Lost in slumber:
Stuffed animals being upside down whilst dreaming has very little to do with the quality of the dream, ha ha.


Skyscrapers have faults too:
The poem I wrote Kasey-

Dear Kasey Renea Smith,
You are the bees to my knees and caramel to my apple (nerds, lol). You are the tic to my tock and the step to my walk. You are the French to my fries and the Mr. Ferris to my eyes (lol). You are the strawberry creame cheese to my bagel and the blocks to my Legos.(: I love you;<3

Ending with an old photograph taken by Kasey sometime in the summer.

Maybe late July?

(:

Creepy Crawlies

     Currently, I am compsing a piece of writing that will some day be posted as a blog. (Not this post, but one I started earlier in the week.) Anyhow I have been neglecting this because I have been Facebook-ing. It's quite annoying how addicting it is, but I will find a way to moderate my use of it. Now I am putting a close to this lame introductory paragraph to bring you current events in the world of Passíon! :D
     Come mid-March, the state of Virginia gets to judge whether or not I am fit to carry a piece of plastic with my name and other such information on it. My ambitions are to pass the driving portion of the exam the first time, as I have already taken the written part (which is why I have my permit card). Moving right along, this piece of plastic is one part of a whole chain of approvals I need, well actually... I don't need these approvals, expect the licenese; I DO need that, but I would prefer to have all the approvals, which I will explain right now.
     A few facts will help you understand my preference of recieving these approvals...

1. When I graduate from high school, I will still be seventeen. I used to think that was really cool until I realized that my mother would still have authority over me because I am not a leagal adult until September. So the issue here is that when I get to Texas, I am my mother's child not her legal adult, ha ha ha. So if my mother told me I couldn't drive my vehicle around, I would have to listen to her... legally. By the way, my mother is as sexist as an man from the 50's...
2. My father is really chill hombre, he comes into my room and shoots my friends and I with the NERF gun I got him for Christmas. But on the same note, he is an adult who plays by respect and evidence. If you show him that you can do this on your own, he'll believe you and allow you to. But until you do, you can't. You know what I mean? So my dad and I are making the voyage down from Virginia to Texas: I drive half, he drives half, and a break inbetween. Well my father is using this travelling for long amouts of time as his form of approval. He will judge my driving and tell my mother whether or not I am a suitable driver to make other voyages for myself. So I would like his approval but I'm also determined to follow through with my word.

     You see how these little judgements and approvals are important? It'll really help me if every one passes along the thumbs up, but it isn't required. So mid-March is my main concern and the rest is future history!

     You're probably wondering why the title of this post is "Creepy Crawlies" and I'm thinking ,"HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES!" Ha ha ha, not really. I just thought it would be funny to say that.(: Anyhow it goes back to a repitition of past events. You know that feeling you get when something has happened before and it seems like it's going to happen again? Yes? Well that is what I'm feeling. The tiniest things feel like the past is coming out of the shadows to reveal itself after all this time. Only a few of you will know what I'm talking about when I say "social networking sites makes terrorists out of females." I'll leave it at that.

The blame doesn't hurt anymore

Sunday night the thoughts, the images, and the fantasy that swam around my mind;
    I stared into his eyes and he was hardly the hotshot he always tried to be, he was but a child; lost and confused in the vastness of the world. His eyes pleaded for me to help him, to grab his hand before he plummeted into the abyss below. My eyes screamed back to his and called his name. My thoughts raced and I wished that my eyes could be a portal to them. I love you, my eyes pleaded. I may not be physically strong but I can try, with my all, to pull him from the dark depths in which his heart lurks.
     Tears began to form at his eyes and then at mine. I furrowed my brow and didn't take an eye off him for a second, I was truly worried. I grasped his hand hard, to signify my presence and for support... There was more in that two-minute stare down than I could ever explain in two hours.
     But every moment comes to a close at some point. He had to leave which meant I needed to say goodbye. We embraced in the kind of hug that we have when something goes wrong; the kind that I wish didn't mean that there was inbalance in our worlds. I squeezed him as tight as I could, standing on my tip-toes so my tiny physique could engulf him, protect him.
     "I love you," he whispered.
     I responed with a slow, coy, "I love you too."
     "I thought you said you couldn't love me."
     "I said I shouldn't."
     "I think you should..."
     "Why?"
     He left and I waited until I could hear him walking out the front door. Tears welled up in my eyes and slid down silently. I looked over at her and she gave me one of those pity smiles that seemed to say, "Well, I don't know..." I went home and thought to myself I wondered what I was going to do about the situation at present.
     I had confronted it as best I could, I went through with "senario five" from my last post. How correct was I? Quite. Did things change? No, I tried and the situation at present was twisted to be my fault. But I guess that it's okay.

 It's always my fault.