Something to consider

     Tonight at dinner, my parentals and myself held a very intense conversation following my statement of, "When I am president I will..."
     The first issue I addressed was standardized testing--recall this post and this one, where I complain about the standardized testing of the state of Virginia--something that will cause less of a burden to our society. As you may have read, or not, I had to go through the annoyance of almost retaking tests that I didn't need in the first place. (I actually took two english ones which were a joke, as I scored one and two points from being perfect scores. -_-" But I digress.) If we had a national standardized test there would be no need for the states to see if out-of-state tests are equivalent--something that shouldn't be happening anyway. It would cover the basic subjects required but would exclude state history; which is quite obvious why it cannot be part of the test, but for clarification purposes: how well would a Mississippi kid do on a test about California? What I would also like to do is lessen the emphasis on this test as it really is just to see how the country is doing in the educational world. Sure it would be important but not so important that teachers "teach to the test", so to speak. I know that a lot of states would be opposed to this as it would take away their freedom to run schools the way they want but I don't view it that way. I see it as a way to simplify things for every state, as a way to bring everyone onto the same page. I think that states will argue that they do not have to money for such a test, but it would be infinitely cheaper than each state making its own test. The way I picture it is there will be a select number of test creators from every state who come up with this national test at a yearly committee at a location that will change every year, there will also be whatever number of test graders in each state so that it's not such a hassle. After copies of the scores are sent to the appropriate schools and students, the originals go the the portion of the government that handles education which is where the committee will decide what works, what doesn't, if the test is challenging enough, and so on and so forth. This will give us numbers for out nation as a whole and hopefully it will eliminate some of the ignorance in the population of today's young people. If this elaborate plan does not get approved, I think that (as president) I would make it mandatory for all states to accept the test of others, end of story. It would make it so much easier on military families and civilian families will feel no difference either way this standardized testing thing works out.
      The second issue I addressed was woman's rights. Yes it feels as though women are equal individuals but have you looked at the Constitution of the United States lately? Let me answer your question before you ask, no, I am not a feminist. I do not believe in "sheros", the female form of hero according to some feminist groups. What I believe is that we are all human beings and we should all be treated the same. None of this "boys will be boys, girls will be girls" nonsense. No double standards, no excuses, just pure equality. Should women be allowed on the battlefield? Why not? If a woman is physically and mentally able to meet the standards that a man must meet, then there is no reason in the world not to let her fight. Do you know what the only right granted to women is? Suffrage: the right to vote. That's it. The Constitution grants that "the right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States of by any State on account of sex." But what about everything else? Races are equal to men but women aren't--they can only vote. If the United States wanted to, they could practically strip everything away from woman except the right to vote and isn't that a shame? Look at this country that we call so grand, so powerful and yet... we cannot even grant the simple liberty of equality to all human beings of the United States. Yes, woman are part of "we the people" and I think that waiting around for something to change will not work. Something needs to be done to strike a commotion, to create controversy, to get Americans to actually THINK! Of course this will not change the mindset of a lot of people but it could very well be a turning point in our history. How are we still singling out an entire HALF of our people? It's unforgivable, I tell you. I have to mention that this does nothing to bash women who want to stay at home rather than work, more power to you ladies--the right to chose how you will live in this country is the beauty of it, isn't it? (Well given it's not actually granted... you get my point.) I know that problems will arise from this, for example, females using the excuse that their body is different and that they should not have to meet the standards that men meet... Well I have to strongly disagree--if women want equality, they will get it. COMPLETELY. Women and men will be challenged as equals, they will fight for the same positions, they will aim for the same scores... regardless of who they are because that's what it means to truly be equal. And that, my friends, is where I bid you goodnight.

Miss Kruczynski and Miss Gilbert

From Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:

Joel: "I can't see anything I don't like about you."

Clementine: "But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me."

     I feel like that sometimes--like I cannot keep an interest in anything that I want. It's rather selfish but unintentional. But in addition to getting bored and feeling trapped, I get scared. I get so afraid that I'm taking the wrong steps and, inevitably, ruin my own happiness.
     Speaking of ruined happiness, do you remember this post? Well if you haven't read it, you should. It would make the rest of what I will say easier to understand.
     So I'm currently thinking about going through with something similar to Scenario 4. I'm writing out what I want to tell one part, who I shall call Miss Lady. The background on this is that Part 1 treats Miss Lady like crap for something she cannot help (the actions of others) while Part 1 remains promiscuous. Part 1 is an ass and I have experienced enough to know this firsthand. But you see, I really want to tell Miss Lady to her face because maybe she will believe my confessions if she can see how sincere I am about them. A letter would be easily dismissed by Part 1 and the nonsense would never end. I don't even like Miss Lady but I'm a good enough person to try to get someone out of a bad situation. I have to wait for the right time to tell Miss Lady, but it will be done--I'm tired of seeing her head and his plopped atop our lunch table.
     Moving on, I feel like Gloria Gilbert from The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald. She's simple mostly and just wants to do as she pleases. Of course in the time period of the novel, it is frowned upon and most people she knows want her to settle down and marry. At the beginning of the novel, she is completely against the idea and involves herself in whatever life swings her way. Be it dates with numerous men, acquainting with people of a different social class, or even leaving fancy places because she craves gumdrops. That last part is definitely something I would do for I have an eternal sweet tooth...
     But the question is, why to I parallel myself to these characters--Miss  Kruczynski and Miss Gilbert? What about them makes me feel as though they, maybe not as a whole, are representative of myself? I'm not sure and I could be completely off base, but I guess there is a little of us all in the characters of books and movies. I'm just curious as to why these two characters--out of everything I've ever seen, everything I've ever read--appeal to me on a personal level as much they have. I'd like opinions on this if you have any knowledge of the characters and me, of course.(:

Seize the moment

     I know it's weird to say, but I wait for spontaneity. That doesn't really make any sense but it does, confusing huh? Well allow me to explain. I have never been a spontaneous person, I've always wanted to be but things don't quite work out how we want. It's like the movies--girls are shown that we are supposed to wait for the guy to do something, so we do. Well, I did. I think it also has something to do with caring about the opinions of others. What we don't see is that the opinions of others mean little to nothing in retrospect to our own opinion of ourselves. Hm, that seems rather wordy and this whole paragraph is much a jumble of unorganized thoughts, so let me get back on track.

     Spontaneity, that is the subject matter of this post. What is it? What causes it? What prevents it? According to dictionary.com spontaneity is "the state, quality, or fact of being spontaneous." Take in mind that spontaneous means "coming or resulting from a natural impulse or tendency; without effort or premeditation; natural and unconstrained; unplanned." So we can all come to the conclusion that spontaneity kind of 'just happens', so technically nothing specific causes it except natural impulses. But what prevents it? Being over-concerned with the aftermath of said spontaneity--that's what will do it. Why be so concerned though? Why worry about the outcome if there is nothing to lose? Would you rather regret not knowing how things could have been or regret trying? (Personally I would regret not knowing how things could have been, but that's just me.)
     This is the part where I go back to my initial statement: I wait for spontaneity. I am patient and forever awaiting the unexpected--but not expecting it. (Comprendes?) Except now I've smarted up, I stopped waiting for things to happen and have decided to become proactive. (Yes, that was a joke to the acne medication; ha ha.) If I have the impulse to do something, I'll do it because I don't want to have to wonder what it would be like if I didn't. And who cares what people think? They are not the ones who will regret what I did not do, I will. Why take that chance?
     Every moment is precious, seize it like it was your last. Stop worrying about every move you make--this is life, not a game of chess. You are the only person who can regret what courage you lack, don't take that chance in your life. Trust your impulses and love who you are!<333

A violent symphony

     It's so simple but artistic at the same time. I mean, it obviously takes skill and coordination to be a good soccer player but I think people overlook the beauty of it.
     When I saw them play today, when I watched the perfect passes, I imagined a ballad of brass instruments roaring in sync with one another. When the other team disrupted the passing cycle, I heard the flat notes of the stringed instruments. It sounded so sour and so beautiful at the same time, as though each harsh noise was made to oppose the preceding beauty. When a goal was made, the spectators cheered and I heard some child run his tiny hands across a grand piano--another disruption to the harmony of the brass section. His in-home piano instructor scowls at him, so the child returns to practicing his scales...

     Even the raw action of the soccer players was amazing. The perfect timing of SDB's header, the wall his team created, the speed that the players reached to get to the ball. Have you ever seen those check card commercials, where one guy pays with cash and ruins the order of things? Well that's soccer for you, only violent. I think that the aggressiveness makes it just that much more interesting. The way the you feel your heart racing even though you're on the sidelines. The way you want to yell words of encouragement but hold back in such a way that it causes a small upset in your body. The way you are so focused on the game that the high chilled winds are nothing but an inconvenience.

     I was only disappointed that not everyone on SDB's team had his dedication and desire to win. A lot of them seemed passive and let the other team get the ball before acting. I watched and wondered what it would be like if wars were settled with soccer... it would be quite interesting. A violent symphony for the sake of your country...

     The day went on swell. We ate, I corrected SDB's paper about selling houses, SDB's dad flicked me off, I actually had a conversation with SDB's brother, and laughed mostly.

    And to end on a completely different note, SDB is now supremely black and almost ordered the perfect racist meal at IHOP: waffles and fried chicken. xD 

Infinite castle

     Time does strange things sometimes. Today, for instance, it was slow and patient yet somehow, it passed too quickly. It's comparable to day-light savings--as I was just getting used to the pointless time change, an hour was stripped away. (Does that make sense? I think I worded it sort of awkwardly but hopefully you get the jist.)
     When you see a pile of approximately seven mattresses/box springs, what do you do? Well you would probably do nothing, you would probably wonder about them, but you would continue going about your business. But I, on the other hand, would see a personal trampoline! So I bolted towards the marvelous pile of springy goodness, climbed atop and jumped as high as I safely could. Chris joined me and we almost tumbled down, ha ha. Somehow, I managed to cut my leg but that's so typical of me. We decided to get breakfast for lunch--some "Texas Slices" (WOO TEXAS! Ha ha.) or as most people call it--french toast.
     But to sum it up, today was a day of observations and randomness. Duck museums and the Christmas Mouse. It was a day of newness, a newness that makes me happy.<33

"Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks."

-Joel  Barish, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind