Today is the fifth day I have wrote a carta de amor, en español of course.(: I'm not sure what I am going to do with said letters yet. I may give them to the person of my admiration or I might keep them to myself for a while longer. I think I'm going to fill the envelope up so much that it can hardly remain closed, at which point I will give said person las cartas. But until then, we won't know. Changing subjects... El sábado, I purchased a sandwich for a hungry man. SDB, Chuck, Glenn, and I were walking to Starbucks from Greenbrier Mall in an effort to spend some time outside. We came across a man who held a sign that read "Hungry--anything helps." I decided that I was going to purchase some type of food item for him whilst at Starbucks. (Which SDB thought that we should as well.) I ended up getting a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit for the kind sir.(: Quite and accomplishment and not to mention the good karma coming my way! Well, I just felt really good about my deed.
The entire weekend from Friday to Sunday was great. I was never doing nothing. Thank you weather Gods! I feel like I accomplished a lot this past weekend. I drove Mr. Greg's truck, fed a hungry guy, increased Ligia's confidence, surprised her, made a new friend, solved a dispute, did the "right thing", started the release process, wrote five love letters in Spanish, and I am starting to change for the better.
I'm just waiting for adventure to sweep me off my feet!<3
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So today, after dinner, I spent hours thinking things over in my life. I've sorted through things. The dreams, I have figured out, but that is for another time. I am unable to sleep right now, for reasons I am not sure. Today, I realize a lot of things. I know I am not the most confident in the area of girls. You have never seen this, but when I even talk to them in lab groups, my voice goes all over the place, as if I'm nervous. It cracks, gets lower and higher, with no control. Yet, if I make a speech, I'm loud, clear, and an amazing speaker. For some reason I didn't have this problem with you. Maybe its was knowing that you would go back to Texas in a month. But of course, this didn't happen. A lot of things have changed since then. I'm more social then before, but still the quiet, afraid, little boy that I always was. I think most of what I put out is a facade to make other people happy, and of course myself a little happier. My best friends before you were my dad and my uncle Jerret. My uncle is the best though. I remember we visited him once in Reno. He said if we were good, he would give us his Xbox, with about 14 games. Him and my dad are a lot alike, but different too. Even though I'm a great Track runner and Soccer player, I feel as though people still see me as a loser. The only people that don't are you and my friends, my soccer team, and the track team. At the first day of outdoor today, an old acquaintance came up to me and said "dang Malone, you look bigger." But unless I'm with these people, I feel as though I am an outcast. And maybe I am. But these people don't know the real Bryant. I don't even know who Bryant is. Somedays, I want to be left alone and be my quiet self. Others, I am a leader and hang out with my friends and make things workout. And every once in awhile, completely off the walls. I think I discover something about myself everyday, and maybe something about the Human element as well. I don't think Humans can be defined as one thing, for we are many things. No one has one personality, for we are always changing, little by little. Whether its by influence of others, or by the different experiences in our life. But every human, different in their own way, is the same. I think this is what allows us, as a race, to come together, and thrive as a species. I think even as we search for who we are, we will never find out the real self-identity. And that's what keeps us going. Not the hope of a future in heaven or a place with a god, but the hope that will find out who we are and our place in our universe. Well this was a rather long post, I hope I have entertained you, text me later.(Preferably after 6:30, when I get home from track and have showered)
Just wanted to mention that I, myself, have stated what you have as the caption under the photo. I crave for my adventure to come. Sometimes I wonder if it will at all. Or if I'm just a speck that will never be understood and never find someone to share with. Sigh. I keep myself content in the meanwhile.
Yeah I know what you mean. I guess adventure is something that you have to make happen and we kind of just expect it at a standstill.
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