When something is wrong or "off" in my world, I expect the ocean to become calm and listen to me. I expect wars to cease and kings to pay their dues. When I'm not myself nothing else should be itself. It's selfish, I know, but it's the way I am. If you are one of those kings or if you are my ocean, I expect you to listen to my stupidity. Maybe I don't want your advice, maybe I do; but either way, I have put the burden of importance on you. When I need you, I really fucking need you. I can't stand to be second to anything, especially when things aren't in their places...
But you have to understand that this is not because I place myself higher than anyone else. I don't have these ridiculously high expectations because I'm better than everyone, I have these expectations because I hope that I am someone's ocean. I expect the world and back because I would give the world and back.
Though I suppose I shouldn't expect so much because I tend to find myself alone. Yet, that is my doing as well. I kind of square myself off and expect my important people to feel that something is wrong; like everyone's "Passíon senses" should be tingling. Okay, maybe not that dramatic, ha ha.
You understand where I am going with this, yes? If not, I'm basically getting to the roots of my thinking. The main thought when I'm in a lowly mood, such as this, is that everyone who I find important should care that something is bothering me. It's just because I care a lot about my important people, and I hope they will be there for me like I am always there for them.
If I love you,
take care to love me back.
(:
6 comments:
Eh, but it won't happen. I've expected people of things and they just turned their back on me. Some people just only care about themselves. So depressing, no?
It's quite depressing but I'll always have that hope in people. In humanity.
So i saw this great movie last night(and its one of your favorites) and it made me go "damn". So for some reason at 3am i woke and thought of this rant about you. First it was short but now it snowballed into about a 30min speach about you. But, it makes me feel better now that ive come to a realization haha
Passion, i think i need to talk to you. Call me when you're free
I mean, maybe half of the problem is we expect too much and the other half is the other person not doing enough. With me, I let someone go because I acknowledged I didn't appreciate them enough and felt they deserved better. I don't think I could've given it to them. So I did what I felt was best.
P.S. I had a poster of that exact image when I was younger. Along with one of a dog on a surf board with the caption, "Hang Ten" or something (:
I definitely expect too much but I'm generally extremely optimistic. It's what gets me by.
But that was very selfless of you, because I'm sure it had to hurt some to give them up; regardless of how much you appreciated them or not.
Post a Comment