Yesterday, Kkarnage spoke to me for the first time in a few months. It made me happier than you can imagine. I was beginning to believe that all my love and care for her was in vain. I thought that she honestly didn't give two damns about me or what I wanted to tell her. All I really want is to keep her safe. I want to bring her home with me and teach her how to be right, even though I don't know how to be right myself. I want to take care of her and give her something that I can't give myself. If I could, I'd drop everything for her.
If I could. I find myself saying that a lot and I suppose I can but it's not how I want to do anything. Dropping everything is so unrealistic, it's just a lie to make people feel secure. Yet, when it comes right down it, it's just about to damnedest thing one can tell another.
Would you take a bullet for me?
Honestly, probably not. I'm not brave enough to jump in front of a bullet, even if it was to save your life. I mean, put yourself in the same situation. You would want to but at the same time, we humans have such a strong desire to live... If I was invincible, I'd take a bullet for you.
Today was a sickly day. Yet I can't stand being useless when I'm sick, it's like a terrible curse. I cleaned the bathroom, the laundry, the stove, some of the interior of my car, my closet, my room, and I tried to clean the wall. I can't just sleep anymore, I don't know why. I really wish I could, I just wish I could. Weird though, it's only twenty 'til seven and I'm really fatigued. I might eat something but I know I want some tea... and some sleep.
Dream with me again. I want to pretend someone is keeping me warm, although my room is as hot as the summer. Dream with me again, I don't want to be alone and delirious. Watch me sleep and keep me safe and warm. Please, dream with me.
"If you can't sleep I'll be there in your dreams. I'll be there in your dreams if you can't sleep at all..."
