I want simplicity

     I'm tired of getting involved in relationships with guys I really like... whose exes also really like them. For whatever reason, or no reason at all, I tend to like guys who have recently left a long term relationship or are currently ending it. To clarify, yes. That does mean that I have been "the other girl;" a role that I never want to play again in my life...

My definition of simplicity in a relationship: It's just us. No exes harassing me on the internet or hating my guts for no reason. Communication. Honesty. Love.

     Though I'm not sure if I'll ever achieve that. Last night I got a stupid message on facebook from Zach's ex-girlfriend. I don't believe a lick of it but it just bothers me that she would even contact me. There's always a few reasons why we don't listen to these people and for her they're pretty much the standard:

1. She hates my guts for no reason whatsoever. 
2. I never knew her and, in fact, I still don't know her. 
3. I don't want to know her. 
4. Because everything said on the internet is the truth. NOT. 
5. She's my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. 
6. Did I mention that she hate my guts without cause?

     I want her to go away. This isn't the first time this has happened though, but at least I'm not "the other girl" this time. So you could say I'm learning!(: (Ha ha, way to make a positive out of a negative.) That's all for now, this smidgen of a rant.

I don't want anyone else,

just you & me,

seeking eternal simplicity.

<3

You have to love them

      Family. That's who I'm talking about today. The people you hate the most but continue to love even though they bug the shit out of you and don't know what respect is.
     I arrived in Texas yesterday at noon. I hate it already. There are two family members in this city that I really do not mind be around at all. Those two are my brother and my Mankie (grandmother.) My brother is understanding and he wants to get out of here too. My Mankie isn't mean and vindictive like the other two major components of my family.
     My mother and my Grampy (grandfather) are the two I cannot stand. The ones that make me cringe at the thought of being home. The two that could turn any vacation of mine into a pseudo-hell. Every statement I make is, apparently, open to criticism and mockery.


Here's a conversation that just happened:
Mother: "So you're joining the Air Force?"
Me: "Yes, as long as I can gain ten pounds and this ear hole closes."
Mother: "It's from having those fucking gauges in..."
Me: "Yeah, well that doesn't matter..."
Mother: -Starts walking away because she assumed I put them back in after December, when she forced me to take them out.-
Michael: -Enters room-
Me: "No mom. I haven't had them in since December..." -Pauses- "Yeah, now she's not going to listen to me."
Michael: "Just don't bother with her or the rest of them. I'm actually trying to get my own place again."
Me: "That's good. Yeah, fuck them."
Mother: -Returns- "Are y'all hungry?"
Me: "No."
Mother: "You're not going to gain any weight if you don't eat."
Me: -Rolls eyes-


     It's so stupid. Every decision I make is wrong to them, and it's not that I care so much as I want them to stop thinking I need their approval on anything. It's my life, I'm going to live it how I want to. I don't care that I'm only "almost" 18, I'm more adult than you think. I'm on vacation not on house cleaning duty. Respect me.

Religion in the eyes of logic (Featuring Scott)

     The idea to remember when accepting your religion, is to know all that you can and should know about your religion, or to at least have the attempt at pursuing the answers. I (being Scott) along with Passion (being herself) pursue truth, fact, logic, and reason when looking at religion.....which is to say a religion was not found.....but the absence....Atheism. This doesnt mean we persecute those who are religious, we just have that given choice to stay skeptical. The leading religion in society to today would be that of Christianity, and i suppose.....that is where we should start.
     My (Passion's) main problem with religion is that they are judgemental towards certain groups of people such as homosexuals, people of other world religions, and people who think for themselves. If it is said that "God" or "Jesus" love everyone, then why would it matter if people were gay? Why would it matter if they believed in a different diety than the Christian "God," or the Baptist "God," or Buddha, or "Allah?" Who's to say one "God" is above another, who's to say that they're not the same person---or not, they might just mythological creatures just like unicorns. Too many people are afraid to think that there is nothing after death and therefore they design this fabulous world ffor the dead who lived what "God" would deam a "good life." Those that fail at living said life, end in an eternity of fire in hell. Bullshit.
     In addition (Scott enters here) the pure psychopathy in it....To have your creator who is great and almighty have such an insane personality disorder....because no matter what, god loves you.....in the same respect, he will send you to a hellish place of Pain, Suffering, and Chaos to remain for the rest of time in the purest agony......but remember......god loves you. We have people who dont even know the book they read, i can say without testing and the uptmost confidence in my own adventures with religious individuals to say that a good portion DONT know that it supports slavery. Colossians 4:1 "Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven." Not only does it condone it, but it shows your pure service to your creator, the one you follow so greatly. I ask you this, with this great idea of a pycopathic religion, tell me you a difference from this and a mass world cult other than its immidiate death of its members or persecution of others?
     I only focus on christianity because it is the dominant religion.....and the others are just even more obsured, the cross paths into fiction stories told of fantasy and adventure as a child. Another great example of Psycopathy in religion is the Catholic priests that prey on children. Ive had hear much more often than i wanted to about sex scandals in these churchs. Being a Catholic priest, you do not marry, and you do not give into lust. But here we have budgets being made JUST to cover up these sorts of problems, and for what? to keep the public unknowing so you can come to a church and continue to think that there is no corruption in this religion.....i leave with this.....the idea of Faith, will only get you so far, and i hope you use what you have, logic....to at least question the ideas.....because if you are able to do it, then why shouldnt you???

These shoes are battle wounds

     Just a few days ago my new shoes came in the mail. Two pairs of Vans Sophies--retro style shoes, sixties I believe, and they're absolutely gorgeous! Though that is not what I have come here to say, as you may have guess by the title of this post. So I shall commence!

     With the arrival of my Sophies, I thought back to the only pair of tennis shoes I would wear---my converse. The right one has a growing hole at the inside heel. The heels on both are so worn down that "ALL·STAR" is completely illegible and holes are forming at the bottom. The laces on the right shoes busted, so I tied them together. They smell so bad that wearing them for five minutes makes it seem like I've worn them for days. It was obvious that these shoes needed to be retired but they've been my favorite for so long, for so many reasons, that it's been near impossible to stop wearing them.
     My shoes are laden with my past love and I can't help but feel a sinking of my heart as I remove them from my feet a final time. On the toe of the right shoe "=) You are my sunshine!" is written in his small handwriting. All around the sole is "Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine...." almost completely faded away. On the toe of the left shoe "I Love You!" is inscribed in fading silver sharpie. Around the sole the words are completely gone but they used to say, "Words can't describe the way you make me feel with every smile you throw my way." The left shoe also has a green checkerboard shoe lace, the other is on his right shoe. I purchased the shoe laces two Christmases ago and it was our "together, always, whenever" kind of deal.
     We haven't talked in so long and I know that it's best for us if we continue our own paths of life, but it's always a sad reminiscent feeling looking back at these battle scars. Every item in my possession is like a little stab at what used to be and the old feelings emerge just enough to notice. It's like when you find a photograph of you and your old best friend; and it hits you that you don't even know where they are, let alone how they are doing. Your stomach churns a little, a few tears well up in your eyes, you sigh and continue with your life.

Oh my dear Converse,
We've been through a lot in these past two years. No one could ever replace you two as I will always have an immense love for you in my heart; but right now we must part. I know it's hard and neither of us wants to, but we can't keep lying to ourselves about this. You're falling apart, quite literally, and I need something more stable. Don't take that the wrong way, you know I'll always love you from the the deepest parts of my soul. We are sole-mates, maybe it will will work out in time. But for now, this is "see you later." Adios, mis amores,<3

XOXO,

Passíon Leon(:

Goal updates!

     I looked back on my posts from last month and was disappointed on how skimpy I have been about posting. I have a lot to say but with graduation around the corner and assignments from space... I just get so out of it that I do not find the time to post all the shenanigans I've been up to, then I jam it up all in one post, ha ha.

Goal #77: Throw an amazing surprise party
I cannot believe that I forgot to blog about this goal! Ha ha, I actually completed this goal back on April 2nd of this year. I decided that it would be fun to throw a birthday for my friend Brandon an entire month before his birthday! A lot of people showed up and it was a great success. Kaelyn's mom made a cake in the shape and design of a PS3, Dennis brought flan, I introduced some friends to hot cheetos and cheese, Ligia brought brownies and sausages... it was just amazing. Playing Singstar and Rock Band and Landon beating everyone up. It was one hell of a party! :D As for Brandon, he was so confused when he walked in and heard twenty of us scream "SURPRISE!"


Goal #27: Register to vote
A card came in the mail and I filled it out. Woo!


That's about it because I don't want to talk about the modeling goal until I have photos.(:

ENJOY THESE:

An unfinished drawing of Domo sleeping.(:

My first drawing of Kasey! :D

Me yelling, "I don't give a fuck!" to a birthday boy.

 xD

Drawing of Kasey that she made me do, lol.