Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The first time we said goodbye

     It must have been the second or third day in January of two-thousand and ten; I had known you for two weeks short of two months. My winter vacation in Virginia was at its end and it was time for me to make my way to the airport terminal that would take me to my home city of San Antonio, Texas. I called you, knowing very well that it would be our last conversation ever.
     I was hungry and I rambled on about how I wanted a cinnamon roll after passing by a coffee shop that was nearing closing. Shortly after finding the correct terminal, I returned to the coffee shop and purchased that delicious smelling cinnamon roll. It was cold and terrible and you got such an earful of it. It was silly, but it was with you...
     After I threw out the cinnamon roll, our conversation got a little bit more serious. We talked about how it would be to say "I love you" for the first time in person, even though that was never going to happen. We told each other everything that we thought we were never going to get an opportunity to say. The phone call ended with our first "I love yous" and what was supposed to be our only goodbye.
     Just a couple of days before, you had sent me one of those annoying text message forwards. It had said something along the lines of, "Send this to anyone who has made you smile this past year (2009) I'm happy to have you in my life, etc, etc, etc." I've never been the type to forward anything but you made me forward that one to you. I guess it's because we were there, watching the end approaching, and knowing that there was nothing to be done. 
     We hung up and my heart sank. It didn't make sense for me to miss you so much after one month, two weeks, and "x" amount of minutes; and in all that time I had only spent time with you twice...
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But maybe it's not supposed to make sense.
 Because two and a half years later,
it still doesn't.
And we haven't said goodbye for good.
<3