Happy Birthday In Advance
It was June of Summer 2009; I remember making a photo album of memories for Joey and I. It was pretty simple; a blue photo album with the first flower he ever picked for me where the cover photo should be, our names spelled out in black stickers. Originally, I intended to save the photo album for July 23rd: Joey’s eighteenth birthday. Though, that changed when June 19th came around.
On June 19th, 2009, I hung out with some friends I had been neglecting. We went to the Mayan Palace to watch Transformers 2, even though I didn’t want to see it. While I was at the movies, Joey was out with his girlfriend at the time, Riley. My friends and I were having a great time and I was actually enjoying the film. The movie ended at 1:01 am the next day and I chuckled, “Hey guys! Guess what time it is!” when no one replied, I continued, “It’s Juan o’ Juan! Ha, ha, ha!” It was getting late so Raymond drove me back home and I was curious as to what Joey was doing.
“Hey, what’s up?” I texted, awaiting Joey’s reply. “This day could not get better!” I thought, satisfied with the day’s events. But the way he responded was stiff and awkward. “You’re acting different. What happened?” “We had a great day together, Riley and I. I want to give her another chance,” he replied, “I’m sorry, but you understand. Right?” It tore me to pieces because it wasn’t just a text, it felt like so much more. I could hear him say, ‘I’m sorry’, I could see the furrowed brow as he uttered ‘but you understand. Right?’ I closed my eyes and felt the hot tears run down my cheeks; I looked through the photo album, and decided that something needed to be done.
“Hey ma, you hungry?” My mom asked. I wiped my tears away then said, “Yes mom. Can you make me something?” She left my room to make food that I was hardly hungry for. I needed a plan and I needed one fast; but I became distracted when, after an hour, my mom still hadn’t come tell me that the food was ready. I stood up from where I sat on my bed and walked from my bedroom into the kitchen, only to find the food still cooking and my mother asleep at the computer. I took the food of the burner, turned it off, then went to tell my mom that she should go to bed. She just shooed me away and on my way to my room, I checked the cable converter box as the time read 4:07 am. I couldn’t help but want to leave.
“I need to see Joey, I need to talk to him,” I thought. He lived in an apartment complex on West Military Drive and I lived in a subdivision called Sky Harbour, a couple miles away. I’d ask myself, “How would I get there? What would I tell my mom? Would I just leave? What about the graduation party later in that evening?” Then the arguing would commence, “You’re going to get killed Passíon! You’re going to get hurt. What about your mom? Your thought process is illogical! What are you doing? Stay here!” Finally, against my own conscience, I decided I was going to flee from my home.
Quickly, I packed my little backpack with a notebook, the photo album, my cell phone, a pen, and my house keys. As I left the house, the front door would not lock; that should’ve been enough to convince me to stay home but I refused to stop. I ran and ran until I’d see a vehicle, then I’d slow down out of paranoia. I was sure that my mom would come find me, but after a while I calmed down and hurried off to the apartment.
I continued to run, on the burn of adrenaline, until I reached the little playground outside of Joey’s apartment window. I was cold but sweaty, my hair was a frazzled mess, I was dressed in pajama sweats and a large t-shirt, the adrenaline ceased to pump. It was a silly reason that I was out here, trying to fulfill Joey’s fantasy of having a sexy girl waiting for him out on this playground. I sat down on the slide and pulled my cell phone out of my bag; the time was 6:20 am. I dialed the ten digits that made up Joey’s number, and luckily he answered. “Hello?” He answered, obviously tired and confused. “Joey, look outside,” I said softly, trying hard to confine the tears I so longed to release. I watched the window until I saw one of his hands pull the blinds sown just enough to peek out to what he hadn’t expected. “What are you doing?!?” Joey exclaimed, concerned, “Come up here right now!” The tears began like sprinters at a track meet right after the sound of the gun. “Okay…” I managed to whisper. I hung up the phone and proceeded to the front door of the apartment, which was already wide-open when I got there. “You know, you’re lucky I needed to pee. Otherwise, I’d be asleep. So tell me…” the questions pressed on, “What are you doing here? How’d you get here? Are you okay?” In silence, we walked into Joey’s room and from there, everything happened.
I sat on the floor closest to the room’s entrance while Joey sat on his bed, looking at me with eager eyes. I kept my glance up in an effort to prevent runaway tears and as I hugged my backpack, I began to speak.
“I was going to save this for your birthday but I feel like you should see it now. You need to see it now before it’s too late…” I opened up the little backpack and pulled out the simple blue photo album. “I’ve collected many things that we’ve done together; notes I’ve written, little nick-knacks, movie tickets… you know, little things. I don’t know, I mean, it’s not amazing but it is something that I put a lot of time and effort into. Something to show you how much I love you. Something that we can finish together, hopefully.” I handed Joey the blue photo album with the first flower he ever picked for me where the cover photograph should be, and I watched silently as he flipped the pages one by one. I saw the change in his face as he went from worry and tired confusion to simple delight. He looked up at me from the simple blue album and smiled. I turned my head to see his alarm clock change from 6:26 am to 6:27 am; arguably the longest sixty seconds in the history of time.
“You know, you’re the only girl who does these kinds of thing for me,” Joey said calmly, “Just, just come here.” I sat by him on the bed and he kissed me. My eyes felt like bad plumbing because they’d leak endlessly; no matter how hard I tried to stop, it was utterly impossible. Joey wiped those tears from my face like morning dew being swept off of grass, then he told me to lay down. “You’re not going to run off back to your house, just stay here,” he commanded, “Okay?” I thought about leaving but suddenly, Joey’s arms were around me and I was sound asleep.
We woke up at around three o’ clock in the afternoon of June 20th, 2009. We began discussing the events that had recently occurred. “Why’d you come all the way over here? I thought you could handle it, you told me yourself. I thought you wanted me to make the decision on my own,” Joey asked, somewhat confused.
“You’re right, I thought I could handle it when I said I could but I wasn’t expecting it to hurt this much. I mean, I’ve known that I loved you for quite a while now but, well, it felt like being broken up with. Except it was not just any break up, but more like the utmost important person leaving your life.”
The sobs began as I pushed to continue, “I ran all the way over here from my house, against my better judgment. Maybe we’re not supposed to be together, I don’t know but I need to show you that you’re not just anyone to me. You’re not just ‘some boy’. You’re Joey and I love you. I knew you were important the day we met; I felt it in my bones then and I still feel it to this day.” I paused, sighed, then looked up at Joey.
“I don’t do the things I do to convince you to be mine,” I continued, “I do them to show you that I love you, that I care about you. I ran over here this morning because I knew that if I didn’t, my crying would have made a scene at your graduation party. I don’t want to be a problem or a burden and I’d hate to impose… I just need you to see that, well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ll always be here. Even if as only a friend, I need you in my life because you’ve changed it so much. I can’t lose you; not without a fight, in the least. I know I’m not really good at explanations but in the most simple way I can put it; I love you. I don’t know any other way to convey it.” I stopped, took a breath, and glanced over at Joey.
“Wow,” he began, “I don’t know what to say but I do understand you. Look, it’s getting late. We should get ready for the party…” “Okay,” I said thoughtfully, “Just please think about what I said. Let’s go.”
We left to my house so I could get dolled up for the party. I showered and put on my newest outfit: a cute green and white sundress with blue and yellow flowers all over. I walked in to the living room to look for my shoes, only to find Joey awestricken. “You look amazing,” he said. “Thank you,” I smiled, “Well let’s go, shall we?”
From then on things were different and they always would be. But if you think that is the end, you are sadly mistaken. This story has just begun.
This was me wanting all of that, all of Joey.
But that story has ended and an even more beautiful story has begun.
It's a little bit funny, isn't it?
~
