I'm a nervous wreck on the inside, and I'm hoping that my thoughts will move you. I'm like a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth with thoughts but saying nothing. I'm helpless at this. I can feel my mouth forming the words I so desperately want you to hear, but nothing comes out. Have you ever seen The Little Mermaid? Do you remember how Ariel fell madly in love with Eric, and Eric fell madly in love with her singing? Do you remember how Ariel asked Ursula for legs, but in exchange Ursula would take Ariel's voice? So then Eric believed that Ursula was Ariel and she couldn't say a word to prove him wrong... Yeah, well something like that but less dramatic.
Some days, I want to write you so much. I want to pin my heart to your shirt so you don't forget that it's yours too. I want to speak into an envelope addressed to you then seal it with with a kiss; and when you recieve it you'll open it up and hear my voice whisper to you. My words will brush your cheeks like I imagine my hand would as I reach over to touch your ears.
But then I remember how bad I am at speaking; how much trouble I have with simple words that make it seem like English wasn't my first language. Your spoken letter would be full of long silences, "hmmmm..." 's, and scrambled up words. But then, in essense, it would truly be me. You wouldn't recieve a paper of well thought out verses but rather, an unmasked me. You wouldn't just read the generic "ha ha" or "lol" you would hear my inconsistant laughter at my own lewd remarks.
So I reflect on my idea and think that maybe all my poorly spoken English isn't so bad. Maybe you hearing the cracks in my voice, my stumbling over words, and maybe you'll get lucky and hear me sneeze.
