Dreaming Reality

     Do you remember this post? It's called Skyscrapers have faults too. The reason I bring this up is because I finally got my 500 word descriptive essay back and I'm going to post it. I don't know how you will feel about it but I feel that it's very strong, I had forgotten how powerful it was. It might just be me though, ha ha. Well, here it goes. (By the by, the title is the blog post title.)




     The room was still and as cold as winter, just the way he liked it. "Bzzt, bzzt," the air conditioner whispered as our breaths brought in the room's only warmth. This little house of ours was laden with his favorite secnt: the thick smell of dust. As we sat opposite each other at the tall, bar style table, I watched him push up his superglue remedied glasses and sweep his freshly cut hair from his face with his pinky fingers.
     "Joey," I said as I reached across the table to grab his hands, "What happens next?" He frowned and turned towards Blue, the build-a-bear I made for him last Christmas, and muttered, "I don't know. I really don't know."
     Tears ran down his face slowly, but hit the floor like pelting hail on a metal rooftop. I jumped off my chair, walked over to his side, lifted his chin, slipped his glasses off, and wiped the wetness from his face. He looked at me and I whispered, "There's no crying in baseball." He chuckled as I pressed my lips against his forehead. I took a deep breath and thought to myself, "Mmmm, he still uses that Old Spice body wash that I like so much." Then, without any regard to the moment I was having, he grabbed my hands and exclaimed, "Marry me!"
     I frowned, pulled my hands away and looked over my left shoulder. "Why not?!" he demanded. I turned toward him and faked a smile as best I could. "I'm only seventeen, darling. And you, you're only nineteen. We have so much time to live before we have to end our adventure." I took a deep breath and exhaled. Hopefully he would understand; it was near impossible to get him to see any light besides the one he was holding. He allowed an audible 'hm' to escape his throat; God how I hated that 'hm,' that arrogant, pointless 'hm.'
     "Passíon," he began, with a slight air of superiority, "I'm not comfortable with the life that you're living over there. You have become someone else." My name sounded so vile coming out of his mouth. I gnashed my teeth and covered my ears; I was done listening to him tell me how to live. I glanced up at his impatient face and thought about how to respond.
     "Joey," I sighed, "how will this ever work? We've become two separate beings with two separate ideas on life and you refuse to hear a word I say. We need to communicate." He looked at me as though my last statement was a waste of breath. "Well we're here now..."
     I pushed the hair from his face and laid my head on his shoulder. I inhaled then sighed; his jacket smelt just like the rest of the house--dusty. "I know that we're here now, but," I paused, "I'm just a figment of your imagination." He started weeping again, his warm tears falling perfectly on my left shoulder. My eyes started to well up with saltwater as he said, "Well it's all we've got now, isn't it? I mean, now that the emotion is no longer existent." The air conditioner reached the point of automatic shutdown, leaving the completely silent with the exception of our heavy breathing. "It's time for us to wake up." I kissed his lips and mouthed the words 'I love you.' He stepped away from me and watched as my body became transparent, and finally, disappeared.

-December 3rd, 2010

So close

I tried to do the "right thing" but the teacher didn't let me take Part 2 from class. But as a consolation, enjoy these photographs:

 Candle & The Beautiful and Damned

 Kasey<3

 Dramatic.

 D Pad.

 A Button

Gameboy^TM



All photographs were taken by me, Miss Passíon Neftali Leon, please use them with permission.
(:

Should Han Solo get the girl?

     Soon, I will make my way out of this classroom and do the right thing. My plan, you ask? Well you see that my plan is to expose Part 2 to the truth that she already knows. My hope is that she will find the courage to leave this time, unlike Saturday night--on the other side of an angry, sad, pleading, desperate, deciving phone call.
     "No one ever believes me," Part 1 said as I opened up my closet.
     "Hm," I thought to myself, "no one believes a liar."

     Though I still have some hope for Part 1. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I still have faith in Part 1. Just as Luke Skywalker held the hope that beyond Darth Vader's mask was the body and soul of his father--Anakin Skywalker. I see the good in Part 1 and that is the good that I'm praying will come out after all this goes down. I hope that Part 2 will believe the words that I say, I hope that she won't dismiss them and run to Part 1, crying about the troubles I have presented her with. I want her to feel the sincerity of my words because I don't know her; Part 2 is pretty much just another person to me. But at least I will know that in my heart I have tried to do the right thing even if I haven't succeeded.
     I'm pretty much pleading the Gods of Part 2's mind to allow her to understand that if it wasn't true I would not make the strenous effort, time, and conscience it has taken me to finally do this. This plan has been creeping around my head for such a long while... three months at the least. I'm thrilled to do this because I knew a note would not be enough but on the same token, I'm not ready to break the heart of this girl I hardly know.
     Oddly enough, I wonder if this can lead to a friendship--or not. Most likely it will lead to an extreme hate because the truth hurts. And what is typical of any relationship is that when the lady finds out that the man was cheating, the person with whom he cheated is automatically the whore, slut, homewrecker, bitch, life-ruiner, etc. The cheating male can do no wrong as his lady, or hopefully fomer-to-be, loves him too much. He'll cast that line as long as he knows it'll hook her.
    It may be true that "love makes no record of wrongs" but people do. Love is not invincible, immune, or resistant to the tolls of life and our humanities. Sometimes it's best to let go, I really think that it's time for Part 2 to let go, for her sake. I'm afraid for Part 1 though... the way he cried in my closet, the way he pleaded, the look on his face was just dasterdly... I don't want him to go back to his old ways of self-inflicting violence and such things but I'm tired of him dragging everyone down on his mission to be cool, to be an asshole.

Princess Leia: "I love you..."

Han Solo: "I know."

 

Maybe sealing Han Solo away at the end of Episode V was a good idea.

Something to consider

     Tonight at dinner, my parentals and myself held a very intense conversation following my statement of, "When I am president I will..."
     The first issue I addressed was standardized testing--recall this post and this one, where I complain about the standardized testing of the state of Virginia--something that will cause less of a burden to our society. As you may have read, or not, I had to go through the annoyance of almost retaking tests that I didn't need in the first place. (I actually took two english ones which were a joke, as I scored one and two points from being perfect scores. -_-" But I digress.) If we had a national standardized test there would be no need for the states to see if out-of-state tests are equivalent--something that shouldn't be happening anyway. It would cover the basic subjects required but would exclude state history; which is quite obvious why it cannot be part of the test, but for clarification purposes: how well would a Mississippi kid do on a test about California? What I would also like to do is lessen the emphasis on this test as it really is just to see how the country is doing in the educational world. Sure it would be important but not so important that teachers "teach to the test", so to speak. I know that a lot of states would be opposed to this as it would take away their freedom to run schools the way they want but I don't view it that way. I see it as a way to simplify things for every state, as a way to bring everyone onto the same page. I think that states will argue that they do not have to money for such a test, but it would be infinitely cheaper than each state making its own test. The way I picture it is there will be a select number of test creators from every state who come up with this national test at a yearly committee at a location that will change every year, there will also be whatever number of test graders in each state so that it's not such a hassle. After copies of the scores are sent to the appropriate schools and students, the originals go the the portion of the government that handles education which is where the committee will decide what works, what doesn't, if the test is challenging enough, and so on and so forth. This will give us numbers for out nation as a whole and hopefully it will eliminate some of the ignorance in the population of today's young people. If this elaborate plan does not get approved, I think that (as president) I would make it mandatory for all states to accept the test of others, end of story. It would make it so much easier on military families and civilian families will feel no difference either way this standardized testing thing works out.
      The second issue I addressed was woman's rights. Yes it feels as though women are equal individuals but have you looked at the Constitution of the United States lately? Let me answer your question before you ask, no, I am not a feminist. I do not believe in "sheros", the female form of hero according to some feminist groups. What I believe is that we are all human beings and we should all be treated the same. None of this "boys will be boys, girls will be girls" nonsense. No double standards, no excuses, just pure equality. Should women be allowed on the battlefield? Why not? If a woman is physically and mentally able to meet the standards that a man must meet, then there is no reason in the world not to let her fight. Do you know what the only right granted to women is? Suffrage: the right to vote. That's it. The Constitution grants that "the right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States of by any State on account of sex." But what about everything else? Races are equal to men but women aren't--they can only vote. If the United States wanted to, they could practically strip everything away from woman except the right to vote and isn't that a shame? Look at this country that we call so grand, so powerful and yet... we cannot even grant the simple liberty of equality to all human beings of the United States. Yes, woman are part of "we the people" and I think that waiting around for something to change will not work. Something needs to be done to strike a commotion, to create controversy, to get Americans to actually THINK! Of course this will not change the mindset of a lot of people but it could very well be a turning point in our history. How are we still singling out an entire HALF of our people? It's unforgivable, I tell you. I have to mention that this does nothing to bash women who want to stay at home rather than work, more power to you ladies--the right to chose how you will live in this country is the beauty of it, isn't it? (Well given it's not actually granted... you get my point.) I know that problems will arise from this, for example, females using the excuse that their body is different and that they should not have to meet the standards that men meet... Well I have to strongly disagree--if women want equality, they will get it. COMPLETELY. Women and men will be challenged as equals, they will fight for the same positions, they will aim for the same scores... regardless of who they are because that's what it means to truly be equal. And that, my friends, is where I bid you goodnight.

Miss Kruczynski and Miss Gilbert

From Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:

Joel: "I can't see anything I don't like about you."

Clementine: "But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me."

     I feel like that sometimes--like I cannot keep an interest in anything that I want. It's rather selfish but unintentional. But in addition to getting bored and feeling trapped, I get scared. I get so afraid that I'm taking the wrong steps and, inevitably, ruin my own happiness.
     Speaking of ruined happiness, do you remember this post? Well if you haven't read it, you should. It would make the rest of what I will say easier to understand.
     So I'm currently thinking about going through with something similar to Scenario 4. I'm writing out what I want to tell one part, who I shall call Miss Lady. The background on this is that Part 1 treats Miss Lady like crap for something she cannot help (the actions of others) while Part 1 remains promiscuous. Part 1 is an ass and I have experienced enough to know this firsthand. But you see, I really want to tell Miss Lady to her face because maybe she will believe my confessions if she can see how sincere I am about them. A letter would be easily dismissed by Part 1 and the nonsense would never end. I don't even like Miss Lady but I'm a good enough person to try to get someone out of a bad situation. I have to wait for the right time to tell Miss Lady, but it will be done--I'm tired of seeing her head and his plopped atop our lunch table.
     Moving on, I feel like Gloria Gilbert from The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald. She's simple mostly and just wants to do as she pleases. Of course in the time period of the novel, it is frowned upon and most people she knows want her to settle down and marry. At the beginning of the novel, she is completely against the idea and involves herself in whatever life swings her way. Be it dates with numerous men, acquainting with people of a different social class, or even leaving fancy places because she craves gumdrops. That last part is definitely something I would do for I have an eternal sweet tooth...
     But the question is, why to I parallel myself to these characters--Miss  Kruczynski and Miss Gilbert? What about them makes me feel as though they, maybe not as a whole, are representative of myself? I'm not sure and I could be completely off base, but I guess there is a little of us all in the characters of books and movies. I'm just curious as to why these two characters--out of everything I've ever seen, everything I've ever read--appeal to me on a personal level as much they have. I'd like opinions on this if you have any knowledge of the characters and me, of course.(: