And that's okay

Sometimes you just forget...

...about me.

     I just know that you forget about me and I guess that's okay. I can't expect you to think about me as much as I think about you, I really can't expect even a "hello" these days. So I've stopped. I've stopped with my wishful thinking and waiting around for you to speak to me. I've tried talking to you but you have plenty other things to worry about without me in the picture, and that's okay. Honestly, it's okay; I understand. I know that I'm a handful and you're just better off concentrating on yourself for now. You don't have the time or memory to keep me satisfied... you'll just forget about me like you do every so often.

     And that's okay, everything is okay. I can live with you temporarily forgetting me and possibly forgetting me forever. It's okay. It's a new year and I've been such a part of your past that I would understand if you forgot my name and my appearance. I don't mind anymore because I love you, and that's okay---isn't it?

     I suppose you're happier now, you're standing on your own two feet with no reason to lean on me. There's no more Nancy so in turn there's no more me, and that's okay because I'd love for you to live the life you want to live. I'd love for you to remember not to forget about me, but for now you'll continue forgetting and I'll continue remembering for you.
     And that's okay, promise.

It's okay to stand alone sometimes.

Kasey and other things

     This photo above is of my best friend in the universe, Kasey Smith, and her boyfriend Mista Blaire (James), Below is my drawing of them. I apologize for not being able to draw males as well as females. T^T

     In a few short days I will be making my way to Virginia to visit my lovely best friend, my dad; Heather; and the dogs, and the rest of my friends.(: It's pretty exciting and all that jazz but there's so much more going on than that and I don't even know where to begin.

     I got mad because a co-worker decided to take some extacy before I took him home from work. I was really... taken aback. It made me sad to see him do something other that marijuana... but whatever I guess. I can't save everyone's lives. *Sigh* I wish getting "fucked up" wasn't cool because as much as they say everyone's not doing it, we know that they're wrong. The percentage of kids to young adults that abuse drugs is at a rise. 

     I've watched one of my closest friends change into someone so desperate and terrible... it just makes me sad to think that I've lost my friend not only to a girl, but the life of trying to get high at every turn possible. I don't know. I guess being one of the few that still don't do anything just makes every drug seem that much worse. 

I need to turn this post around.... behold! The largest omlette made at our IHOP and the cutest Cutie brand orange!

o.O

 :3

 I miss my bess frann

<|3

The difference between dreams and future reality

"They're not dreams, they're just not reality yet." -Passíon Neftali Leon

     I came up with that quote today when talking to co-workers about relationships and our futures. I was thinking about how I plan to go to SUVA in Tuscon and then I realized, that's no pipe dream of mine; that's reality to come. It's what I WILL do not just what I want to do. To me, dreams are something that change until they get to the point where you just know that they will be your future. I know where I'm going in life and I know what I want out of it too, all that's left is for it to actually happen.
     I'm so determined for my plans to unravel, even if they come out differently than expected. My quote applies to love as well; because even though I don't know how that will unfold for me, I know who I want and I'm not let them go without a fight or three-hundred.

     I've motivated myself so much that I bought a cork board and have started putting things that will be part of my reality to come. (I'll post of photo of it once I have it a little more filled out.) It's a way that I can visualize what I want and bring it to me ten-thousand fold, which is something mentioned in The Secret; an awesome read and a life changing book. But things are looking up despite my lack of certain things and certain people. I can be happy on my own knowing that I have an awesome reality to look forward to.

I Googled "night sky", chose this image, then edited it in picnik and added my quote.

It's at the center of my cork board.

(:

     Man, that is one awesome quote. I'd love it even if it weren't my own. Goodnight bloggers!~

Long talks with co-workers

     Chris didn't work today but he came to hang out because we were wayyy dead. I was training Ayman's brother to be a server. (I don't know how to spell or say his name, sorry!) Anyhow, Ayman's brother and I were having some nice conversation and then Chris and I started talking about where we are with the people that we love, and how sometimes we freak out when a short period of time feels like an eternity.
     He made a good point when he said that doubt is just the universe testing your desire of the person who receives your love. I was taken by surprise by that because everything has to be so much more complicated than that for me. It really makes sense though! I mean, I know that Robert's world can't revolve around me at this point because he has so much more to focus on, and the universe is testing to see whether or not I can handle the wait without him; which I can and WILL.

     In other news, I finished my table lamp, it's pretty awesome! I used glow-in-the-dark paint but when I tried taking a picute of it, it didn't show up. (Sorry guys, I really wanted to show y'all!) But enjoy what photos I do have to share!

 Instead of using computer paper,

 I found a clear box and traced the flowers off my bedspread again.

 I cut them around their outlines and taped them onto the lamp.

Then I went around the stencils with glow-in-the-dark fabric paint.

I did the insides of the flowers freehand.

 This is the lamp unlit.

 This is the lamp lit, lol.

This is what I had to cure my sickness today.

A hot cup of Earl Gray with cinnamon; sugar; and honey,

a glass of orange juice,

and Chicken and rice soup.

NomNomNom!

:3

     Also, you'll notice the new Twitter box and follow by e-mail over there to the right. If you follow my blog but don't have a blogger (and don't want one) there are two new ways for you to stay updated! I will post a link from this blog on twitter just as I finish posting. So keep in touch, kids! Love yah!

Shake the feeling

     I don't know. I really don't. I'm at a point where I feel like that's that and I'm gone. I feel like maybe I'm wasting my time because I've already served my purpose in that matter... but I don't want to be done. I'm hanging on to what little I'm given and I just will not let go. I mean, it is a new year and for it to start with bad dreams and being sick... I haven't any idea of where to begin or to end. (Possibly, preferably not.)

     All I know is that I have to keep trucking forward; regardless of whether things change or not. So I'll put on that stupid face that I have one over to the right and continue with my life, because even if the things that mean/meant so much to me at one point in time can still bring me down, then I'm not really progressing with the new year... if that makes sense. I guess I'm just making things a dozen times more complicated than they have to be because that 's the way I am. Complicated is my middle name... Well actually it's Neftali but it's just as complicated. (Yes, laugh!)

     Eh, I kind of feel like I'm just rambling about nothing so I guess I'll say goodnight. Oh and that's Chris in the background. He's pretty cool except he's leaving IHOP for Sam's Club. What a weenie!

P.S. Pawlie wants me to go to bed, hence the photo below. Goodnight everyone, and may 2012 bring the best for us all.

<3