"I have too much love," he said

I responded, "There is no such thing as having too much love, you just need to learn how to tame it."

     I'm a nervous wreck on the inside, and I'm hoping that my thoughts will move you. I'm like a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth with thoughts but saying nothing. I'm helpless at this. I can feel my mouth forming the words I so desperately want you to hear, but nothing comes out. Have you ever seen The Little Mermaid? Do you remember how Ariel fell madly in love with Eric, and Eric fell madly in love with her singing? Do you remember how Ariel asked Ursula for legs, but in exchange Ursula would take Ariel's voice? So then Eric believed that Ursula was Ariel and she couldn't say a word to prove him wrong... Yeah, well something like that but less dramatic.
     Some days, I want to write you so much. I want to pin my heart to your shirt so you don't forget that it's yours too. I want to speak into an envelope addressed to you then seal it with with a kiss; and when you recieve it you'll open it up and hear my voice whisper to you. My words will brush your cheeks like I imagine my hand would as I reach over to touch your ears.
     But then I remember how bad I am at speaking; how much trouble I have with simple words that make it seem like English wasn't my first language. Your spoken letter would be full of long silences, "hmmmm..." 's, and scrambled up words. But then, in essense, it would truly be me. You wouldn't recieve a paper of well thought out verses but rather, an unmasked me. You wouldn't just read the generic "ha ha" or "lol" you would hear my inconsistant laughter at my own lewd remarks.
     So I reflect on my idea and think that maybe all my poorly spoken English isn't so bad. Maybe you hearing the cracks in my voice, my stumbling over words, and maybe you'll get lucky and hear me sneeze. Though, it's all just a dream... but I'm allowed to dream, aren't I?

Love is selfish

     I just finished watching the movie Salt and I will admit that I began to tear up when she stood there and watched her husband drown. I mean I understand that it was done for the greater good of the American people, but I would have saved my husband. As selfish as it is, I would still save him because he is the person I promised to spend the rest of my life with, and because I love him. I can't get into more depth than that...
     I tried looking up the quote I wanted from the movie, but that was a failure. It went something like this, "I remember something Michael told me about spiderwebs. He said that he was the web and that I was the spider that lived on top of it. He said that anytime I needed him, all I had to do was string up a bit of web. He told me to remember how much he loved me everytime I saw a spiderweb..."
     It made me sad when she spoke these words, beause all I could see was her husband drowning and her there, waiting patiently. Though it seemed that today was filled with this kind of sadness, everyone else but me was in such a downer mood. I walked to the post office alone and on my way ran into a familiar looking older dude named Chase who had beautiful eyes and a volumous beard. We had small talk and then I went on my way to the post office. My favorite post office person was taking care of my package and two letters, he asked where Kasey was and I said with her boyfriend. He gave a response something like, "Ah. The old ditched for the boyfriend routine." Made me smile.(:
     I ended up getting blistered feet and then hung out with Chase. (Not the one I just met, the one over yonder in the side bar of people.) We started off yelling at each other, then talking, then both being in his sweater which was really funny.(x And then the little one (Kayla, I believe) hugged my leg! It was the most adorable thing ever. After I went in, I ate, Kasey came over and was upset about her teeth and then left... Now here I am, thinking about the day and hoping that I chose the right thing. You know, my husband's life over the security of the United States. xD Whoever you are husband, I love the shit outta you.<33

Here's your letter

     I sent one today. A beautiful ballad of color and words, and of future history. Though I wish that's not what it becomes. I think that we make people fit into our lives and I know you have your place. Maybe it's just something inside me that refuses to let you go, but I can't. I don't want to just enjoy our time for a split second in comparison to the rest of our lives. I want to enjoy it for a long time...
     Guess what song just started playing? With Me, Sum 41. Mhhhm. It fits with this post. I think that we can only wait for things to happen before I go on about how terrible the ending is going to be. I want you to read it feel the rush of emotions that caused me to write it. I want you to laugh where I laughed and cry where I cried. I want you to muse at the clever possibilites and my attention to detail.<3
     I'll get your reaction by the end of the week, if all goes well. Goodnight darling.

Responses to past posts

Almost tomorrow, yet today is never ending:
You can infact use mechanical pencils on the SAT. I did. I used two of my cadoozles, because they look like pencils, and a white peral eraser. I got my scores back, which proves that mechanical pencil can be used. Just in case you were wondering.(: Just make sure it's a #2!


Lost in slumber:
Stuffed animals being upside down whilst dreaming has very little to do with the quality of the dream, ha ha.


Skyscrapers have faults too:
The poem I wrote Kasey-

Dear Kasey Renea Smith,
You are the bees to my knees and caramel to my apple (nerds, lol). You are the tic to my tock and the step to my walk. You are the French to my fries and the Mr. Ferris to my eyes (lol). You are the strawberry creame cheese to my bagel and the blocks to my Legos.(: I love you;<3

Ending with an old photograph taken by Kasey sometime in the summer.

Maybe late July?

(:

Creepy Crawlies

     Currently, I am compsing a piece of writing that will some day be posted as a blog. (Not this post, but one I started earlier in the week.) Anyhow I have been neglecting this because I have been Facebook-ing. It's quite annoying how addicting it is, but I will find a way to moderate my use of it. Now I am putting a close to this lame introductory paragraph to bring you current events in the world of Passíon! :D
     Come mid-March, the state of Virginia gets to judge whether or not I am fit to carry a piece of plastic with my name and other such information on it. My ambitions are to pass the driving portion of the exam the first time, as I have already taken the written part (which is why I have my permit card). Moving right along, this piece of plastic is one part of a whole chain of approvals I need, well actually... I don't need these approvals, expect the licenese; I DO need that, but I would prefer to have all the approvals, which I will explain right now.
     A few facts will help you understand my preference of recieving these approvals...

1. When I graduate from high school, I will still be seventeen. I used to think that was really cool until I realized that my mother would still have authority over me because I am not a leagal adult until September. So the issue here is that when I get to Texas, I am my mother's child not her legal adult, ha ha ha. So if my mother told me I couldn't drive my vehicle around, I would have to listen to her... legally. By the way, my mother is as sexist as an man from the 50's...
2. My father is really chill hombre, he comes into my room and shoots my friends and I with the NERF gun I got him for Christmas. But on the same note, he is an adult who plays by respect and evidence. If you show him that you can do this on your own, he'll believe you and allow you to. But until you do, you can't. You know what I mean? So my dad and I are making the voyage down from Virginia to Texas: I drive half, he drives half, and a break inbetween. Well my father is using this travelling for long amouts of time as his form of approval. He will judge my driving and tell my mother whether or not I am a suitable driver to make other voyages for myself. So I would like his approval but I'm also determined to follow through with my word.

     You see how these little judgements and approvals are important? It'll really help me if every one passes along the thumbs up, but it isn't required. So mid-March is my main concern and the rest is future history!

     You're probably wondering why the title of this post is "Creepy Crawlies" and I'm thinking ,"HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES!" Ha ha ha, not really. I just thought it would be funny to say that.(: Anyhow it goes back to a repitition of past events. You know that feeling you get when something has happened before and it seems like it's going to happen again? Yes? Well that is what I'm feeling. The tiniest things feel like the past is coming out of the shadows to reveal itself after all this time. Only a few of you will know what I'm talking about when I say "social networking sites makes terrorists out of females." I'll leave it at that.