Life updates

     I've disappeared and I'm sorry. Mostly to myself, for those nights where I come here to spill my heart and thoughts, but fail to do so. 

     I've been re-addicted to Neopets and if you'd like to join me click here.(: Then neomail pawlie_gray (that's me) that you joined! :3

     Other than that I am currently employed at an IHOP restaurant and I really like it! I have the opportunity to interact with a variety of types of people. I feel like it is also helping me in my path to become President of the United States by building my charisma by talking to complete strangers. 

     On a final update-ish note, I'm happy with my life as of now. Somethings, like the air force, aren't looking too good for me but other things are really just where they need to be. And on my next post, which will be soon, I'll just do a normal post. Not an update. Sorry about all the formality.

Goal #88: Make a stop motion film

My first and only (so far) stop motion animation!

If you couldn't tell, I'm EXTREMELY excited about this!!!

(:

I'll be posting more of my artsy stuff when I get around to doing it, lol.

ENJOY!

:D

You never leave my mind

     I don't know how things are for you but when someone makes an impact on my life, I'm always thinking about them subconsciously. Generally, I go about my business as usual and then something triggers a single thought, which then turns into a series of thoughts about the particular person.
     For example, just yesterday I was wasting time at Barnes and Nobles; not looking for anything in particular, I stumbled across a copy of The Steampunk Bible. The thought that immediately followed my finding was, "Joey would love this." That lead to me thinking about the necklace that he gave me and how I rarely wore it, the necklace he purchased for one of his female friend's birthdays and how jealous I was about it, when he first introduced me to the whole theme of steampunk, how I wanted so badly to make him a real pair of leather steampunk goggles with his prescription lenses last summer. Then the thoughts seize and I continue to go about my business.
     When I begin to believe that someone is completely gone from my mind, which in itself should be proof that they are not, they reappear in the form of a physical object of some sort. My mind is just so wrapped around these people that have once been so important, and even those that are still just as important. I know that some people will say, "forget it, it was the past" but I the way I see it, the past was the present and the future at one point in time; therefore it's all important, it all matters, everyone matters.
     I'm absolutely grateful for those that are important in my life today, and I hope that they are there for tomorrow. I'm thankful for those people who are no longer willing participants in my life because, from them, I have learned many things.

We never know where the people in our life will end up,

 but just know that you'll never leave my mind.

Colorful thumbprints all over white walls

     On my drive home tonight I was thinking about my life and about what I'm going to do in the situations that have been presented to me. All that thinking lead to reflecting on the past and what I think I have meant to people; I came to the conclusion that I'm a colorful thumb print on everyone's white walls.
     My life is like a child: innocent yet reckless, naive yet cunning; but most of all, memorable. When I enter someone's life, I'm just a shy child. I don't say much and I don't do much but eventually that innocence fades and I become more comfortable. The more comfortable I get, the more I will be involved in someone and their life. (Be it friends, family, strangers, etc.)  Once I'm involved, I leave my mark; my reckless side comes out and finds the brightest of the tempera paints, it lathers its hands with paint, yet only leaves a single thumbprint.
     Then one day that person and their life leave mine, or vice versa, and they go on with their lives with a single thumbprint polluting their perfect white wall.

I'll be the unorthodox marking on your life.

Shall we get started?

Oh, the places you'll go

     Some days I just sit around thinking about how things could have been different, depending on my location. For instance, if I had moved to Virginia with my dad back in 2008,  if I would have gone back to Texas last summer, if we had moved back to Japan in 2002... things would have been impossibly different. So different, in fact, that I cannot even begin to fathom where I would be in this exact instance.

     The people who are in my life currently would have just been faces amongst the crowds of faces I see everyday, everywhere. It tears me apart to think of losing any of the people I hold so dear to me, but even more so to think that there could have been a possibility that I never met any of them in the first place. But I've come to the realization that if I had been different places in my life I wouldn't even notice the lack the people who are in my life now. I wouldn't have known them like I know them now, I probably would have had other people in place of them... It's an awful thought but it has always been a possibility, and will continue to be as long as decisions will have to be made.

      Then comes the matter of who I would be, would I be the same lovely little Passíon that I know today? With all I've gone through, I can answer with a  a definite "no." If my circumstances had been different, my experiences and life lessons would have be extremely different. I don't think that I would have had identical situations as I have had in this path that I've chosen; they might have been similar but I wouldn't have learned things the way I have up to this point in my life.
     Basically, I wouldn't have my life any other way because I love the people who take part in my life, I love the places I've been, the person I am, the ambitions I hold. There will be difficult decision to make throughout life but we can only choose, and hope we chose right.

Just remember to make your mark;

no regrets.

<3