My heart said to my brain, "I told you so!"

     A few days ago I was going to blog about how sometimes, you have to use your brain to convince your heart that things are going to be alright... but I was mistaken. When your brain has to convince your heart something,  you are only cheating yourself. Your heart knows when things are wrong even before your brain realizes it. Well, that's how it goes for me anyway.
     You see, a few days ago Robert lost his necklace with the cute dog tag I put on it. If you know me at all or have read this post, then you know exactly why I knew something was wrong the moment he told me. If you haven't read the post then allow me to explain; if you have read the post or know me well, you can skip ahead to the next paragraph. If someone gave me an object, say a bracelet, and that bracelet just did not stay on; I would believe that our friendship was on the brink of ending and I am the one holding us together. You know what I mean? That's how my heart knew what my brain ignored.

     At the end of the day my heart said to my brain, "I told you so!" I'm no longer at war with myself over what might happen or what's supposed to happen. My brain, heart, and I are all content waiting alone, together. (If that makes sense...) We're waiting on Robert's heart to convince his brain that it's okay, the three of us won't hurt him like other hearts, brains, and people have before. :3

Now that I have drawn this, I can sleep. 

Please excuse the hands.

"I guess you can say that I miss you..."

This song.

That is all.

Everyone else

     Sometimes I wonder how important I am to everyone else. Do the people that I have high on the scale of importance think of me on the same level? Or am I not as important? The reason I've been thinking about this so much is because I feel like I've been placed on the back burner of everyone else's life. It's understandable, there are other things to focus on in the world besides me, but I'm being selfish. I want someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to hang out with, someone to be my friend...
     It feels like I have none of that, these days. All my good friends are far away and the so-called friends that still talk to me just use me for advice or because they need a ride. Then there's co-workers but I just feel disconnected from them... And the person who I need most is caught up in so much that it's almost as though he's gone./:
     Things seem better for everyone else I know but that's just me having unnecessary self-pity. And just a month ago I was grateful for the place I was in life. Not much has changed except circumstance... But things will improve, I'm sure. I just have to be patient.

Self-isolation

     I don't mean to cut myself off from everybody but I always end up alone. Even at work when I'm surrounded by people, I somehow manage to be sitting somewhere by myself or so focused on my work that I don't pay attention to my surroundings and the people in them.
     I feel like the loser of the swing-shift ihop servers because my co-workers like me, but it feels like they aren't really my friends. I miss jokes and I don't understand some of the things they do. I get left out of a lot of things because I get really focused on my work when I need to...
     And even right now, I could be texting any number of people... but I don't. I just continue to be alone and make myself feel like a nobody for whatever reason. It just seems that the more I try to hold on and understand, the more everything and everyone starts slipping away.
     When I begin to get close to people, they forget our plans before they make others... and it hurts. I guess that's something that they don't see. I just keep holding on to what little I have and try not to say more than necessary because I don't want to be alone. I'm so sick of being alone.