Shake the feeling

     I don't know. I really don't. I'm at a point where I feel like that's that and I'm gone. I feel like maybe I'm wasting my time because I've already served my purpose in that matter... but I don't want to be done. I'm hanging on to what little I'm given and I just will not let go. I mean, it is a new year and for it to start with bad dreams and being sick... I haven't any idea of where to begin or to end. (Possibly, preferably not.)

     All I know is that I have to keep trucking forward; regardless of whether things change or not. So I'll put on that stupid face that I have one over to the right and continue with my life, because even if the things that mean/meant so much to me at one point in time can still bring me down, then I'm not really progressing with the new year... if that makes sense. I guess I'm just making things a dozen times more complicated than they have to be because that 's the way I am. Complicated is my middle name... Well actually it's Neftali but it's just as complicated. (Yes, laugh!)

     Eh, I kind of feel like I'm just rambling about nothing so I guess I'll say goodnight. Oh and that's Chris in the background. He's pretty cool except he's leaving IHOP for Sam's Club. What a weenie!

P.S. Pawlie wants me to go to bed, hence the photo below. Goodnight everyone, and may 2012 bring the best for us all.

<3

Double Christmas trees, life, and apologies

Pawlie enjoying Christmas

     We'll start off with the apologies. I'm really sorry about not blogging, to both you, the follower, and myself. My mother hid the cord to the desktop and my brother hid my laptop and I don't really like blogging from my phone... so I sincerely apologize! I really have a lot to tell you all so bear with what should be a long post.(:
     Christmas was great! My cousins came down from Dallas; it was nice to have everyone together again for Christmas since it had been quite some time. I didn't get much for Christmas and I don't mind that at all, I was just happy that I could give to everyone and make their Christmas even better. Speaking of Christmas, you might be wondering what I mean by double Christmas trees! Please allow me to explain!
     A few days before Christmas, Mankie, my brother, and I went Christmas tree shopping. We couldn't find any trees, at all. It was a real disappointment until we left Walmart and passed by a tree tent. Excited, we turned around as soon as possible and went into the tree tent. It was a little bit of a downer because when we got inside all they had were four and five foot trees. The three of us thought long about it and, after a game of rock, paper, scissors between my brother and myself, we chose a five foot tree which was a little spare at the top. (I picked the tree.) We took it to Mankie's, my brother left, and Mankie and I set up the tree in the family room. Mankie wanted a bigger tree but a small tree was better than no tree at all. Eventually I left to go hang out with my friends Brandon, Sid, Cali, and Mike and that's when the double tree happened.

     We ate out at a pretty nice Chinese buffet then made our way to the Quarry shopping center because Mike needed to buy my Christmas presents. After we began to head out, I noticed another tree tent and promptly called Mankie. She said that Grampy wouldn't want to pay for another tree so I offered to buy one myself. It was really exciting, buying my very first Christmas tree and giving the little one to Brandon, Sid, and Cali. Mankie offered to reimburse me the forty dollars that I spent to buy the tree but I declined, it was purchased in the spirit of Christmas. Then next day we set it up and decorated it but we forgot to put a star on top. xD I know that picture over there isn't that good, but the tree was beautiful and there were so many presents under the tree that it felt like I was five again. I'll probably post more pictures from my mom's camera in another post so you all can see how great my Christmas was. But even before Christmas we had a odd situation in which we had another dog!

     Grampy named her Snowy. My grandparents found her running in between cars at the beginning of the street that they live on. At first, they weren't going to keep her but she just wanted to come home with them. Mankie to her to get vaccinated the next day and they took care of her as though she was their own. I was asked to take a photo of her in case she had an owner who wanted her back. (That's her over there to the right.) But before I could make any flyers, my brother had already found her owner one Craig's List and contacted him so that he could pick her up. Her real name is Chaine (Shy-ann) and she's a fourteen year old dog with a hearing problem. I was told that when her owner came to pick her up he was crying and very happy to have her back. Mankie was a little hesitant to let her go but she knew that if Suni had been found she would want him back, so Snowy was back home in no time. I hope that she's doing well and happy to be back with her owner.(:

     Besides all of that, I've been doing a lot of creative things for my bedroom that I want finished before Robert visits for spring break. One of them that I have almost finished is a garland of origami flowers, which can be found here. I made sixty-nine flowers and I have almost hung them all up on my string of lights. I simply used a needle and thread to link them together. It's a pretty easy decoration.


     I have two more projects for my room, one is a tree of cranes, as shown in the movie (500) Days of Summer (which I will post photos of as I get there) and the second is stenciling on a table lamp. Here are some pictures to help explain.

Here we have my table lamp that my mother got me for Christmas.

Pretty plain, huh?

This is my bedspread.

I thought that I could make my lamp cooler if I put the flowers on the lamp.

Good idea, right?

I tried to trace them with computer paper but it was too thick.

Instead, I used tissue paper.

I'll trace the tissue paper copies with a thicker paper so I can tape them onto the table lamp and then go around the edges with fabric paint that matches the room.

     This is my last post for the two-thousand and eleven year! I hope you all have a safe New Year's and I'll be looking forward to posting for you in two-thousand and twelve! Chou!

"Christmas"

     I've been thinking about so much lately; my life currently, my life in six months, my life in a year, the people in my life, the events to come, and so on and so forth. I'm sure you get the gist, but most of my thoughts today were about what I want and what I have, and what I can do to assure that I have both.
     You see, I think of myself as an anxious child, forever awaiting Christmas day even though it's only mid-July. I know what it is I want and I've already had a glimpse of my gifts, but I can't do anything more. I cannot open my toys let alone play with them; so what am I to do? Well, there is only one thing I can do---wait.
     Ah, but if it were that easy! If I wasn't such a selfish child on the inside, I could easily wait for years but I'm not. I'm impatient and selfish because I want to have what I want to have, because I need what I need. And yet, I can wait despite myself. The only thing that will keep me between what I want is myself, and I must prevent that.
     I want my HappilyEverMerryChristmasNewYear. I have to wait just a little while longer to open those gifts and pretend to be surprised. Six months isn't a long time to wait and I'm sure I can wait it. I just need a load of self-discipline and motivation. I'll be the child that decides to eat three pieces of Halloween candies a day rather than the whole bag.

     Cheers to patience and love for the child within me. I will not suffer the stomach ache of my neighbor.

Disheartened sofa

     I got off work last night and walked into the house that resides in my heart. I was surprised to find everything in such disarray, and you were nowhere to be found. I sat alone and wondered when you would be back, if you would be back. I was a mess and I needed you, for then and forever. My tears were fierce and my sobs long and sorrowful. "He's not returning," I thought to myself just before I passed into a dreadful slumber.
     "Ding dong," the doorbell yelled and startled me awake. I rubbed my eyes, walked to the door, and could see your body through the peephole. I opened the door slightly, tears streaming down my face. "I'm sorry," you said with a half grin and a shrug. I pushed the door far enough to let you in and then we made our way to the sofa.
     "Why did you take your things without so much as a goodbye? What did I do?" I asked frantically trying to makes heads or tails of our situation. "I left because... because I didn't want to be left," he blushed in embarrassment of his own words, "I sort of... beat you to the punch." My forehead wrinkled as I looked at him, puzzled. "What do you mean? I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to leave, ever."
     He took my hand in his and said, "I just need a little bit of time, at least."
     "Promise me you'll come back," I pleaded.
     "I love you. I promise."
     He gathered what little was left of his belongings and made his way out of the home inside my heart. From a nearby window, I watched him get into his van and drive away; all the while reassuring myself that he would return soon enough.
     Tonight, I'm here on the sofa again.

Bowling

     So as you can see, my idea to turn that extremely long skirt into a mini-dress was a success! I think it really suits me and is now a pretty piece of clothing rather than a tacky eyesore! (Although my watch doesn't really match, lol.) I want to wear it already but I don't know when it'll be warm enough to sport it without freezing, or  what shoes to wear and other related items. I'll probably post another photograph when I do decide what to go with it.
     Anyhow, today has been another successful day. I've learned so much about myself, like that I tend to enlighten people and make them happy because my happiness is contagious; which in turn, makes me even more happy! :3 It's like a vicious cycle of awesome-tastic happiness! I made great tips for it being a Wednesday night and even did some shopping after work. I finally bought this purse that I've been dying to have, which says a ton because I am not a purse girl. I've had the same mini-backpack for about six years and we've been through a lot together; shows, Warped Tour, middle school, high school, life in general... mannnn!
     The ball of life is rolling down the center of the lane for me right now; I'm real close to hitting all of those pins. We'll find out if I get a strike by next fall, when I *hopefully* go to school at the Southwest University of Visual Arts in Tuscon, Arizona.